I got a letter from the Internal Revenue reminding me that I am delinquent in paying my taxes, insinuating that I have been irresponsible. Stating that if I did not pay immediately that I would have to pay fines and or go to jail. This really scared me until I remembered that they are trillions of dollars in dept with our money and that they should be throwing themselves in jail. Then I got mad. After all I work six days a week and on Sunday I stand by the freeway with a sing that says, "I have a job will work for food".

  Should I spelt with their trillions or take what is left after taxes and go to jail? So I decided to give them a call and get some answers. I dialed 411 and the operator answered, what city please? I said all of them, give me The-Collect-It Spend-Agency. She said sir that well be 1-900-We-Spend-Your-Money. So I dialed 1-900-We-Spend-Your-Money and after xxx rings a man answered, The-Collect-it-Spend-It-Agency, how can I help you. So I explained the letter to him and asked him what it was that I needed to do. He asked me for my social security number, so I gave it to him. He came back in about a minute and said, Mr. Poor John, has lived at, has worked at, owes. Than he said that I would have to pay the full amount immediately. I said how can I pay us? I do not have the money, the dentist wants three thousand dollars to fix my teeth. He says I have a gum disease and I could and or die. What should I do? He said Mr. Poor John let me put that into the computer and see what it says. He came back in about half a minute and says, Mr Poor John it says here to save on toothpaste. I said look, my truck needs brakes. I have to stand up in it now to stop it . What should I do. He said Mr. Poor John let me put that into the computer and see what we have. He came right back and says, Mr. Poor John it says here to have brakes checked before the auction. I said look, my apartment was hit by lightning and all my receipts and records were destroyed. What can I do? He says Mr. Poor John let me put that into the computer and see what it says. He came right back and says Mr. Poor John it says here that your apartment was not the only thing that got fried.

  I told him that I do not know why I am paying so much in taxes anyways, I just live and work here. I feel like I am paying an existence tax. Why am I paying so much? I am not an unlimited source. He says Mr. Poor John let me put that into the computer and see what it says. He came right back and says Mr. Poor John it says here that you think to little of yourself  

  I did not think that he understood what I was trying to communicate. So I decided to try a language that he would understand. So I says, I am completely innocent of all charges and have no further comments. He hung up on me. Now I now that I am in big trouble because the Internal Revenues version of free speech is a echo in an empty room. I do not know how I got into this mess in the first place, something about read my lips when they really meant watch my mouth move; a sales pitch with no product.

  So this time I got the yellow pages and found a tax representative. Called,  made an appointment and went and saw them. After talking to them, I began to feel a little better. They explained that I probably  would not have to go to jail. That they could get me on a payment plan, paying my back and front taxes at the same time. They also explained how the government really does not waste your money on an unlimited source of causes with a vote.

  After all was said and done, I would have to give up only two things, breakfast and toothpaste. And was left with one rebounding thought; "find a penny pick it up and for the rest of the day look for a buck".

                                                                                                   BY Poor John